Fathers and Sons:  A Mom’s Perspective

A change is occurring in the Langford household.  At this point in the parenting journey, I was not prepared for this change.  Kevin, my husband, has become the cooler parent in Connor’s eyes! (insert audible gasp)  I think I still have some cool status in Kenzie’s eyes.   I jest, of course, but there has definitely been a change this past year with my 8-year-old son and his relationship with my husband, Kevin.

Connor has always adored Kevin, and Kevin has always been a hands-on dad with both my son and daughter.  I work part-time for a school district, and Kevin has flexed his schedule to help make that work for our family.  However, until recently, Connor still mostly wanted to hang out with me, run errands with me, and just be close to me.  Now, if a choice is presented, he is going to choose Kevin almost every time.  I know my heart should be a little sad, but instead, it is swelling in my chest to see the amount of love between the two of them.  Video games, lightsaber duels, nerf gun battles, wrestling, and football watching have all become “bonding” events.  Now, of course, little sister is right there in the middle of some of this as well, and she holds her own.  It brings me joy to stand back and watch all this unfold.  For Father’s Day, he made Kevin five or six cards.  I think I received two cards from Connor, and that is okay because I like his daddy too.  I want our boy to see his father as his hero, and when he is a man, I want him to see Kevin as his best friend.

I remember as a new mom reading a book or blog (I honestly can’ t remember) about how as wives we need to talk positively about our husbands to our children, and of course, the reverse concept is true for husbands to speak positively about their wives.  However, in that particular piece of writing, it was specifically targeting wives and the importance of cultivating the father and child relationship.  For example, we, as wives, can make it a big deal when daddy comes home from work or a trip, and/or we can talk about what a blessing daddy is to the family.  I am continuously reminded of that piece I read years ago when I fall short of not realizing and speaking about the blessing Kevin is to our family and the type of servant leader he is for our Lord and our family.  I want my children to look toward my husband as man who works hard, is fun, is kind, loves his family dearly, and loves God above all.

Connor has wanted to be a pirate, police officer, and for the last little bit, a US soccer player.  He had never mentioned songleader and/or minister.  Of course, we never put any pressure on him nor will we ever.  However, recently, he said to us that he wanted to be a songleader like his dad.  Then, around the same time, Kevin performed a wedding, and Connor insisted on dressing like his dad for the wedding.  We were not leaving the house unless Connor had a tie on that day.  Watching their bond grow even stronger over the past year, just reaffirmed the significance of having a loving father.  We can never downplay the role of the father.

Even though, we do not know much about Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus, we know enough from scripture to give us a glimpse of his character.  Joseph was a man of integrity, obedience, and faith.  In Matthew 1:19, we learn that Joseph is “a just man” in reference to divorcing Mary “quietly” when he learned she was with child.  He was not going to make a scene or spectacle of the situation.  A few verses later, he is obedient to the Lord’s command of taking Mary as his wife (Matthew 1:20-24).  Then, in Matthew 2, he follows the Lord’s command by taking his wife and child and fleeing to Egypt as a safe haven from Herod. Later in the chapter, he returns to Israel with Mary and Jesus based upon an angel of the Lord’s instructions.  Continuously, he follows God’s instructions.  His faithfulness to God, and his faithful leadership in his family are clear in Luke 2:41 when he takes his family to celebrate the Feast of the Passover.  The law required males of a certain age to attend the Passover, but women were allowed to attend.  Joseph and Mary were devout to their Jewish faith.  Joseph was establishing a God honoring example for his wife and children in their home.  God chose a man of outstanding character to raise and lead the family of our Lord and Savior.  I wonder what Mary’s thoughts were when watching Joseph interact with Jesus.  Perhaps that was something she “treasured up” in her heart (Luke 2:51).

Wives, what a wondrous opportunity we have to witness our sons looking toward their fathers with admiration and respect!  Our sons watch how their dads treat their moms.  Our sons watch how their dads desire to spend time with them.  Our sons watch their dads interact with other individuals with respect and kindness.  Our sons watch as the most important and influential man in their lives leads their family towards heaven.  Kevin leading our family’s Bible studies has been a treasuring up moment for me.

Pray for our husbands as they have an enormous responsibility leading our families.  Pray that we can be all God desires us to be as their spouses.  Pray for our sons who will one day be leading their own families.  Praise our husbands for their Godly leadership in our homes, especially to our children, and honor their role in public.

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