Depression, Yearning, and the Lies We Tell Ourselves

Every age yearns for a more beautiful world. The deeper the desperation and the depression about the confusing present, the more intense that yearning.
-Johan Huizinga

image_zpls5zOur lives can be so confusing, can’t they? Two years ago when I started trying to have a baby, I had no idea I would still be here today unable to conceive. Why? I guess I have asked all of the common questions. Is there something wrong with me? Is there a reason God doesn’t want me to have a baby right now? Will I EVER have a baby? Will I have to adopt? I won’t lie and say that every time I hear that a friend of mine just found out she’s pregnant, or every time I even SEE a baby my heart doesn’t ache just a little bit.
Depression can hit us in a variety of different ways. Some of us have to struggle with the chemical imbalances that have to be sorted out with medication. Others deal with situational depression that is a result of an overwhelming or traumatic event. Or we might simply struggle with the common depression that is a result of a negative thought pattern that we have not learned how to control. The depression I feel is one that I create in these times of weakness when I fall for what Satan throws at me. Many times it seems we don’t even want to control these negative thoughts because we have succumbed to the lie that they are true.

Have you ever told yourself a lie like this? Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought “I’m not pretty enough” or “there must be something wrong with me”? Do you ever look around the room at all the couples wonder why you have to be the one that’s alone? Do these negative thoughts ever turn into jealousy or hatred towards others?

You would have to be lying to say you have never experienced a thought like one of these. One very big problem is that we allow our culture to tell us that we are never good enough. If you have everything in the world, but don’t look the way you think you should, then you strive to be find ways to be more “beautiful”. If you have the most wonderful husband in the world, but you can’t get pregnant, then your life can never be complete. These are the kinds of lies we hear and we feel and we believe because our culture has taught us that to be content and to be happy means to have and do and be beautiful, rich and famous. If we are missing one of these pieces, than we should put all our efforts into fulfilling all of those empty holes. Don’t believe it!

Yes, life should be meaningful. There is great meaning in having children, but it is a lie to tell ourselves that if we never have them our life is not complete. We should take care of ourselves. This doesn’t mean however that our self-worth and value is in anyway directly tied to how beautiful we are. Good things are often twisted into something that pulls our focus away so far that we forget to sit back and realize all the other good things that we have been so richly blessed with.

We must REPLACE those negative thoughts that drive us into a depression with positive ones. I know it’s not always easy, but let us remember Jesus during these times. Let’s replace our negative thoughts with the most positive thought of all, which is that all of our “yearning” will be gone one day when Jesus takes us home. Therefore, we must look to Him and His endurance on our behalf, which makes our hope for a better world possible. “For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” (Hebrews 12:3).

Sarah Hall
About Sarah Hall 5 Articles
Sarah is a graduate of Freed Hardeman University and has been married to her husband, Jeremy, since 2008. They have twin boys and worship with the Millview church of Christ, where he serves as the pulpit minister.

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