Femininity” is the title of this article and honestly I named it that just so you would have to try to say it a few times without getting tongue tied. So, being feminine. What does that mean? When growing up I was told I needed to be “feminine”,  in my head I pictured bows, lace, women vacuuming in high heels, sitting neatly with legs perfectly crossed and hands folded, ladies quietly giggling while covering their mouths, princess posture, big Audrey Hepburn dresses, eating only salads and fruit, etc. If all of this is what truly makes one feminine, then I am in trouble! I grew up with a bunch of brothers so I know how to wrestle pretty well, my sisters and I are known for our LOUD and DEEP laughs, I like to get pretty and dressed up as much as the next girl but most days you will see me in my t-shirts and gym shorts, I am still working on my slouching of the shoulder and I think God gave me a male’s tastebuds (ribs, chicken wings, burgers, messy, yum). So, what does this make me?  Am I not feminine? What makes a girl feminine? What does God have in mind for us women when it comes to being womanly?

The word “feminine” isn’t found in the Bible, but the concept is. The dictionary’s definition of  “feminine” is “having qualities traditionally ascribed to women”.  It isn’t about bows, make up, wearing lots of pinks or only eating salad (of course nothing is wrong with any of those), but it’s about the QUALITIES that women should possess. The Bible gives us special qualities that are aimed specifically towards us girls- therefore if we have those qualities we will be feminine!

Being feminine is a heart issue.

Being feminine starts with the heart (Prov. 23:7). We will never be viewed as feminine if our hearts are hard and not willing to listen to what God wants from us. We need to humbly and gratefully accept the fact that God made us women and that there are certain things He expects of us. We were made by God as a women, so we must act like women. Before we can attain those feminine attribute God expects, we must soften our hearts and truly be ready to be the women God wants. We must be humble enough to look at the scriptures and see how we should act if we want to be who we are called to be.

What femininity looks like.

If your heart is softened and ready to be the feminine women God expects, then your actions will soon show this. I have looked and made a list of the specific feminine qualities we as women should be working towards:

Learning Quietly in Submission
1 Timothy 2, 1 Corinthians 14

Reverent in Behavior
Titus 2

Teachers of Good Things
Titus 2

Loving to Their Children
Titus 2

Titus 2

Titus 2, 1 Peter 3

Workers in Their Homes
Titus 2

1 Timothy 2

Titus 2, Proverb 31

Proverb 31

Fears the Lord
Proverb 31

Proverb 31

Has Dignity
Proverb 31

Proverb 31

Proverb 31

Loving and Submissive to Their Husbands
Titus 2

Proverb 11

1 Peter 3

Gentle and Quiet Spirited
1 Peter 3

Has integrity
Titus 2

Helps Those in Need
Proverb 31

Proverb 11

1 Timothy 3

Whew! If you’re like me, this list can seem overwhelming. But, with a soft heart and lots of diligent work, we CAN attain these! I love that all of these characteristics are something we can all have control over and none of them are impossible (like “you are not to have a deep laugh”, or “You will only crave dainty salads” might be). God cares about our hearts and if we work on our hearts then the feminine qualities will be seen.

Alicia Bookout
About Alicia Bookout 19 Articles
Alicia and her husband Garrett currently serve at the Northwest congregation in Lawton, OK. They have two children: Emma and Wesley.

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