Mine, for example, consisted of walking up to my boy friend of 4 weeks and singing, “I don’t want no scrubs” while adding a nice shake of the finger. Then, following the song, sassily turning around with a twirl of my ponytail, and walking off with my girls following close behind me. In our 4th grade minds we assumed he would know that by the singing of this song, I was dumping him. He didn’t, and so I later had to go back and re-dump him.
This, of course, is just a silly story about a silly break up during a silly part of my life. Some break ups, however, are not silly at all.
Though some of us have past experiences regarding boyfriends that bring us laughter, or embarrassment, there are others that bring us much pain, regret, and anger. Break ups such as these are the ones that leave us standing in the midst of our lives wondering to ourselves, “What now?”
It’s when we find ourselves asking this question, when we know we have built our joy, fulfillment, security, and purpose on the wrong foundation. For young girls, the temptation to build our foundation on a boyfriend is overwhelming at times. We find ourselves waking up and falling asleep thinking about him. When he’s not near we don’t quite know what to do with our time. Every day ends up revolving around him. We crave for the next time he tells us we’re beautiful or amazing. He becomes our focus. I know. I’ve been there.
But what about HIM? The only HIM that we should be founding our confidence on?
From experience, I know how easy it is to substitute relationships in for God. God is not physically here to hug us or smile at us or tell us we look pretty on the days we dress up. He is not here to send us a text that makes us smile.
BUT, He is also not here to tempt us sexually. To cheat on us. To manipulate us. To strip away our identity. To control us. To break up with us. To hurt us.
One day, that boy you founded your whole world upon will probably let you down in one way or another. He might hurt you. Or abuse you. Or completely crush your heart. Or lead you into sexual impurity. But not your God. Your God is the one and only relationship you can depend on to bring you lasting, unfailing, security, warmth, hope, purpose, and intimacy.
Whether you are currently in a relationship, pursuing a relationship, or still healing from a broken relationship, examine your foundation today. Who are you relying on to fulfill you? Who are you hoping to rely on and fulfill you? To make you feel special? To give you direction and purpose? To make you feel needed? To make you smile?
If your first thought is your most recent crush, boyfriend, or dream boy, reconsider who you are choosing to build your foundation of confidence on. Tear down any foundation that does NOT rest upon GOD and sew together a foundation that has no end, no pain, no rejection, and no regrets.
There is “a time to tear down, and a time to sew together” (Ecc 3:7)
Make today your time.